One Blonde Model, Please, Hold the Mustard

People often talk about the gap between the rich and the poor as a sign of the health or sickness of a country's economy. I've never been able to get exercised over this particular statistic. I'd rather live in a country where everyone was comfortable and there were several gazillionaires, than in one where everyone was dirt poor but equal.

I suppose those  who attach importance to this statistic feel that the ridiculously rich become so at the expense of the poor. I'm not sure that's the way the world necessarily works, but what do I know.

Anyway, the concept of the gap between the rich and the poor did hit home one day.

A man in my mid-forties who has never been married, finding my soul mate has proved tantalizingly elusive for me. Matchmakers, personal ads, websites, date after date after date, awkward silences, last minute backing out, unanswered phone calls, how many siblings do you have, what do you do in your spare time, how often do you visit your hometown, what should we talk about next, my mind is completely empty of any topic of conversation. The following quote from the movie Jerry Maguire comes to mind: "It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about."

So one day last summer, I read that tennis star Andy Roddick was engaged to marry a model. (Her name is Brooklyn Decker, and they have since tied the knot.) Now what struck me was how they met:

It was while Roddick was flipping through a previous swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated that Roddick first noticed Brooklyn Decker, and asked his agent to set them up.

When I read that sentence, in the context of my own romantic endeavors, the contrast struck me like a tennis ball travelling at 200 MPH.

Bachelor # 1 goes out on date after date after date, year after year, just searching for a nice Jewish girl, and finds none.

Bachelor # 2 picks up a swimsuit model magazine, flips through the pages, sees the model who suits his fancy, and has his agent order her for him, seemingly with the same ease with which I order a couple of hamburgers delivered to my home. What a nice world it must be for young Andy! Now such a lifestyle for me is about as realistic as flapping my arms and levitating off the ground. But this is actually somebody's life!

Gap between the rich and the poor indeed!

Now if you think that I'm morbidly lamenting this state of affairs, then you've got me all wrong, my fine feathered friend. In fact, I literally burst out laughing when I read about Andy's courtship, laughing at the delicious absurdity of the contrasts in this world. I wouldn't want the world to be any different from what it is. It is such contrasts which make the world a place teeming with rich variety, and therefore such a completely fascinating place! Vive la difference! Mazel Tov, Andy!