When Opposites Repel

Pop quiz:

What is the opposite of the word depth?

This question appeared on a test I took in English class in the 7th grade. The reason I remember the question so well is that it is one of the few times in my life, so few that I could probably list them all, that a teacher marked a reply of mine on a test incorrect when I felt that my reply was correct. In fact, in this case, not only did I feel that my reply was correct, but I felt that the reply that the teacher thought was correct was incorrect. (Still with me?)

I showed the test to my father and asked his opinion. Not only did he agree with me, but he adduced evidence to support my point of view. Funnily enough, I don't recall whether I disputed the point with my teacher.

I had pretty much forgotten about this episode until about 7 years ago, when I was at a small dinner party. Something triggered my memory of it and I related it to those present and accounted for, and asked what answer they would have given. To a person, they all gave the answer that my teacher wanted.

At this point, I know that you are bursting at the seams on pins and needles (ah, the danger of mixing metaphors) to find out the answer. Without further adieu, my fellow wordsmith:

• The response my teacher was looking for: shallowness.
• The response I gave: height.

Now I would certainly agree that the opposite of deep is shallow, just as the opposite of hot is cold, the opposite of rich is poor, and the opposite of tall is short. In each of these cases, one word indicates a large quantity of the property being measured, while the other word indicates a small quantity.

But to my mind, depth and shallowness are not opposites, but rather synonyms, for both indicate the very act of measuring a property. Is there a difference between saying that the depth of a pool is 5 feet and the shallowness of the pool is 5 feet?

This is the reason I chose height as the opposite of depth: one is a measure of distance from the ground upwards, while the other is a measure of the distance from the ground downwards.

And the evidence which my father mustered in my support comes from Irving Berlin:

How much do I love you?
I'll tell you no lie.
How deep is the ocean?
How high is the sky?

By the way, I'd be happy to hear from someone who disagrees with this and can explain my teacher's point of view. I think part of the disagreement stems from the fact that the very concept of opposites is to a degree subjective.

If that same teacher were to give me the same test today, I'd give an answer which I believe would be in line with her way of thinking on the issue, but which I think she would nevertheless find highly unexpected. I wonder whether she'd give me credit for it.

Superficiality.